Dealing With Rejection

I’ve been interested in Rice University since the seventh grade. I didn’t have a clue where I wanted to attend college, so I did what any millennial would do- I went to Google. I searched “the best colleges in Texas” and Rice was in the top four on every website As I matured and my time in secondary school elapsed, I began to research more regarding Rice University and the more I learned, the more I loved the institution.

Eventually, I reached out to the school and attended an information session given by the school in a hotel. Admissions staff, recruitment liaisons and parents of current students put together a presentation which included the history of the university, the campus faculty, admission statistics and how successful Rice graduates are beyond their years as students. They also introduced a program called Discover Rice where on a Sunday, prospective students would get to tour campus, listen to a panel of students, attend information sessions for their prospective major, financial aid sessions, and sessions specifically for the parents as well. Then on Monday, we had the opportunity to attend any two classes that were included on an extensive list.

My experience on campus was amazing. I was in awe of the beauty of the campus and all the resources available to students to ensure their success while at Rice. They encouraged bonding through the residential college institution. I began to picture Harry Potter and Hogwarts down in Houston. I was impressed by the number of student led organizations and how prevalent student interest groups were. I attended a biology course and a psychology course and both were spectacular. I was certain that the two professors who were kind, interesting, attentive, and intelligent were a microcosm of the caliber of teachers throughout the institution. I was hopelessly and full-heartedly smitten. It felt like true love.  Not just with the institution itself, but with the idea of me being there. I felt it was where I belonged, so much so that I bought a keychain and t-shirt from the campus bookstore on my visit. I was scared to wear the shirt because I thought it would somehow seem too arrogant- assuming I’d get in- and jinx me, so I folded it and placed it in the bottom of my dresser. I repeatedly found myself pulling it out and just looking at it while imagining what my life would be like if I attended college there.

Due to the fact that early decision applicants had a higher acceptance rate than regular decision (and also the insistence of my mother) I submitted my application by 11:59 pm November 1st and the treacherous wait began. Even though I knew I wouldn’t receive a response for at least another month, I still found myself walking to the mailbox expecting a letter, and searching through my email inbox. The not knowing made me anxious. I constantly questioned my short answer responses and other things I included on my application. What type of students were they looking for and did I portray myself well enough to be aligned with their preferences? How could I accurately capture my essence that was the culmination of 12 years of education? I was a nervous wreck. I even tweeted “I’m gonna be on 10 until until I get a response from Rice… like if I get in it’ll be lit, if I don’t then I’ll be disappointed, but not knowing is stressing me out.” I was trying not to be cynical, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case I was rejected. I tried not to think about it, but my family members were constantly asking me how the college search was going, making the pressure one hundred times worse. It was also hard because people would say things like “you are so smart and you’ve gotten good grades. I’m sure you’ll get in!” and slowly my subconscious started telling myself the same thing, which made my rejection even worse.

By mid-December my mother and I were anxious while awaiting their decision, so she decided to email someone from admissions and ask when the early decision applicants would be notified of their status. The lady emailed back and by the next week I had received an emailing saying that m application status had been updated. I nervously logged into the portal and my heart immediately fell when I read “I regret to inform you.” I was rejected. And they hadn’t even put forth the effort to mail the letter me.

I put up a brave face for those around me, but on the inside I was devastated. The one place where I thought I was destined to be didn’t want me. I started wondering what was wrong with me. What if I had included something else in my application? What I should’ve done differently in high school so that I could’ve been accepted? I started to question my plans for the future. If I couldn’t get into a good school for undergrad how could I expect to be accepted into a decent medical school?

Now, I’ve been accepted to the honors program and have been given a large scholarship to a great university, but when I got my rejection from Rice, I didn’t know if I would bounce back.

If you’re reading this and are in a similar situation, I just want you to know that you can bounce back. I also want you to know that it’s the college’s loss, not yours. You are still capable of achieving incredible things, and you will do so without their help. Use this experience to make yourself stronger. Grow from it. Maybe right now the pain of rejection stings too much, but it will heal with time and so will you.

Don’t dwell too long. Take a week or so to mourn the loss, then try to move on. There are plenty of other options available to you. If you have been accepted to other schools, embrace the possibilities they will afford to you. Just because it may not be what you had originally hoped or planned for doesn’t mean you can’t be successful and happy in that environment. You could even do a few years at  community college and transfer to your dream university later on. And if now you have no idea what you next step is, that’s absolutely okay. We’re eighteen years old and the world is our oyster. Even if you decide to take a year off to find yourself and then start college afterwards go for it. Most college students don’t graduate in the projected four years anyways, so you’ll be right on track.

In case you don’t believe me when I say you’ll be fine, take it from Barack Obama. His senior year of high school he applied, and was rejected from Swarthmore College in Philadelphia. Although he was disappointed at first he didn’t let it stop him, and eventually he got accepted into Harvard Law school. Steven Spielberg, winner of three Academy Awards for Best Director, had it even worse. He was rejected from University of Southern California twice, and dropped out of California State University Long Beach. Eventually, he earned his BA, but his young adulthood was full of disappointment and uncertainty. Tina Fey was rejected from Princeton following a rocky interview, but she ended up at the University of Virginia studying drama. M.I.T rejected Tom Hanks, and instead he attended a community college in California. Shall I go on?

Although rejection is a part of life, it sucks. I have a tear stained owl t-shirt buried in the bottom of my dresser to prove it. But now I’ll be able to use this experience in the future to prove to myself that no matter what happens, or doesn’t happen, I’ll be okay.  So will you.